Thursday, January 12, 2012

“Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.” - Jonathan Safran Foer

My heart, My life!
Everyday I see Miguelito and I thank God for each day, because everyday of life that I get is one more day that I get to spend with my son and one more day that I get to spend with all of my loved ones.
In my 30 years of life I've had the blessing of being blessed with both my parents and that is the greatest blessing that I could have asked for, there is no way for me to explain the love that I feel for my dad & mom they are everything to me and it hurts to imagine a world without them. It's because of them that I have all the blessings that I have and it's because of them that I am the woman that I am today.
Everyday I try to explain and show Miguelito how important family is and the love and respect that you must have for each other. That is why back in October when we saw the Trailer for "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" I knew that we had to see that movie once it hit the theaters. It came out on December 25,2011 Christmas Day, and even though I wanted to go and see it we couldn't. Hubby was off and he had already told us that he would not be seeing that movie with us under no circumstances. 

You see my Humbe lost his daddy almost two years ago and his heart still hurts, there are nights when he can't go to sleep and all he does is weep. It hurts my heart to see my Humbe like that, to see him hurting because his daddy is not here. It hurts because I can run and hug my daddy and hold his hand and kiss him on the cheek and tell him I love you and hear him say it back to me. It hurts because I was the one to break the news to my Humbe the day his dad passed away, you see Humbe was off on his morning jog and I was getting Miguelito ready for school when Humbes cellphone rang and I picked up to hear Humbes sister whimpering voice and trying to tell me the news. I couldn't believe it and when the realization of who had to tell Humbe came to me I started telling his sister that I couldn't, I wouldn't, I just couldn't tell him! How do you tell your other half that his hero, his daddy has passed away?!? I had to get ready to drop Miguelito off and thank God for Jessy who walked with me, I was shaking and couldn't stop sobbing, as we walked Miguelito to school Humbe walked by, he looked at me and said "Is everything ok?", " Go home Humbe, just wait for me" was all I could say. As Jessy and I walked back home I felt heavy, how would I tell him, how could I look at him and tell him the news?!? I couldn't! I really couldn't break his heart like that, I knew that once I told him things would never be the same for him. His world would come spiraling down. As I walked up the stairs I wanted the day to start over, I wanted to have never answered the phone, I hated myself for answering the phone, as if not answering would have changed the events!
I remember walking into the room and Humbe looking up and smiling at me, I remember seeing his face change as the realization of what I told him sunk in. Such a sad day that always follows me around, the day that I broke Humbe's heart!

So for that reason he can't see movies of that nature, he got teary eyed just watching the trailer, but I knew that once the movie came out Miguelito and I would watch it. Why?!?  I mean it's a child's worst nightmare losing your parent especially at such a young age, some reviewers recommended taking children 14 and up, because of the sensitive nature. So why take my child and make him suffer?!? I wanted him to see the special relationship between father and son and how life is short, how everyday is a blessing You never know when something will make your world go upside down, and how even impossible as it may seem life does go on. Never the same of course but it does go on nevertheless.
 So on Monday the 26th Miguelito and I headed down to the theater and sat down for two hours and lost ourselves in a most powerful and magical movie, that touched me in so many different ways!
  I wept during many sad parts as did many of the other movie theater goers, but in the end I'm happy I had the courage to see the movie. I'm happy it made me see things differently.
This is a must see movie, so if you haven't seen it what are you waiting for?!?

“I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't big enough, the eyes that can't take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.”
- Jonathan Safran Foer , Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Love,
Kary xoxo

8 comments:

  1. Kary, you are possibly the sweetest person ever. And such a good mom. Bless you!

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  2. Tambien me pertuba mucho el pensar que algun dia mis padres no van a estar a mi lado :( ...mucho I cannot image what you had to go through when you had those heavy news for your amor! I love you Kary. You are a wonderful human being!

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  3. I've been thinking about seeing this movie too but I don't know if I'm quite ready yet...maybe when it comes out on DVD,

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  4. That quote at the beginning is touching. I wish we would never stop believing. Our future can be whatever we want it to be. Cute post.

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  5. I really can't wait to see the movie now! Thanks for sharing;)!

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  6. my heart sends yours and your humbe's a hug. though it is the circle of life, i don't know that the loss of a parent ever gets better. how could it?

    my heart starts beating so fast whenever i hear about this movie. i read the book and it weighed on me for days. i couldn't shake it. i hope i can build up the courage to see it.

    love and love.

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  7. You are a great mum (sorry, Aussie spelling!!)
    I lost my mum from cancer when I was 13 and I wish I knew before she passed the importance of her sickness & understood 'death' as such. It obviously wouldnt have made it any easier - but I think I would have said all those things I wish I did.
    I hope when I have kids I can teach them these things like you are.

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  8. your family is so lucky to have you. You are such a beautiful person xx

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