I look at this picture and it's hard to believe that it was 14 years ago that I entered this journey called motherhood. My first born who will always be my baby is also almost a young man, who will be going off to college in just a few years, in less than 5 years to be exact.
One thing that I also noticed is that I've never written Miguel's birth story and I think that it is about time that his birth story was told.
My pregnancy with Miguel was a very smooth one, the first few months I did have a very faint hint of nausea but that was about it. My appetite was less and it was hard to eat sometimes, but with the help of my husband and him making sure I ate a lot of fruit everything was smooth.
I was in labor for exactly 18 hours, exactly because my labor pains started at exactly 2:00am and Miguel was born at 8:00pm pm on the dot, he didn't believe in tardiness even before he was born.
I'm not going to lie when I say that I didn't dread labor pains that much, not I'm not kidding or crazy but I suffered from severe cramps during my periods. They were so bad that I ended up doubled over in pain when I'd go to the bathroom at times, it was bad. Little secret here, when I was doubled over in period pains it always came to my mind that labor pains would feel the same and I'd end up practicing my labor, now this was way before I'd met my husband or thought about becoming a mom, but I was weird like that - ha! So there I was at the age of 16 with period pains and practicing my breathing as if I was having a baby. Fast forward to the real action and when the labor pains started. I was sleeping and had no idea that my son would be born the next day or that he'd be a boy. We kept the gender a secret and we'd find out until he popped out.
At 2:00am a sharp pain in my back woke me up and it was uncomfortable enough to be get me off my bed, I was sleeping at my parents house because my husband was working and with the baby due any day, due date was September 17, 2003 to be exact they didn't want me to be alone.
The sharp pain made me get up from bed and made me start walking right away, my sister who was sleeping with me that night noticed me holding onto the bed railing, the pain was sharp and I felt that by leaning in it helped ease the pain. She immediately sat up and asked if everything was ok, I said I think the baby is coming but don;t wake up mom or dad because there are still a lot of hours to go, my water hadn't broken and labor usually takes a few hours.
I only lasted about one hour by myself because soon enough everyone was awake and there with me, we got in touch with my husband but he was at home sleeping and I told him to sleep a little longer because it was his last night of sleep, funny I know. He was instructed to come over at 6:00am, did he listen. Well let me see, I called him at around 3:00am and he was at my parents house at around 5:00am, he partially listened.
At around 6:00am we were all sitting in the living room, every time a contraction came I'd rock myself in the sofa and hold on tight. Everyone just looked at me, which made me a little bit nervous, no sign of my water breaking and contractions still minutes away we decided to wait it out home until I couldn't anymore or thought that it was time.
Let me say that those hours went by so slow, we tried to see if I could lay down on the bed to be more comfortable but OMG!! I thought I'd die, the pain was so bad. For some reason laying down on the bed with contractions is the worse thing ever. My husband held on to my hand and my mom my other hand, but I told them I couldn't like that and it was better to just walk or rock myself, The hours at home went by like that, let me tell you that no scream or tears were let out. I can truly say that it was thanks to my mom and aunts for traumatizing me, correction warning me that if I cried or screamed the baby would go right back up, lol. Old wives tales, i'm not sure but you will not see me scream during any of my labors or will you?!
At around 12:00pm we decided that it was almost time to go to the hospital, the contractions were getting a little bit closer but first a quick shower. Yeah, don't want to be caught stinky during your labor, another part of our culture Mexicana is making sure that we take a shower before heading to the hospital to have the baby. Every time a contraction came I'd hold on to the shower rod, it seriously is a miracle it didn't break. I felt like it crunched up under my hand every time I squeezed it.
Next worst thing to laying down and having contractions is the taxi ride to the hospital when contractions are a few minutes apart. It wasn't fun or pretty but again i made it without one single scream, my way of coping with a contraction was the breathing and humming quietly while I pursued my lips together.
We arrived at the hospital at around 2:00pm and let me tell you we could have stayed at home a little longer, I was only dilated 4 inches and was proceeded to being strapped into a bed with a heart rate monitor to check on the baby. The contractions were bad, and with the nurses coming in and continuing to push the Epidural on me, I felt like I wanted to cry. What part of no, I do not wish to take the epidural did they not understand. One nurse even told me, "you know now days woman don't have to suffer or take any pain at all you can easily get the epidural". My hand wanted to punch her so bad. It wasn't about being masochist or anything but I really wanted to take in the process of being in labor and having a baby naturally. At about 5:00pm it was decided that my water would be broken, in order to move along the labor and the baby being born. I was warned that the contractions would come faster and they did. My husband wanted to hold my hand and I wanted nothing to do with his hand, all I wanted were the ice chips that helped cool my very chapped lips. At around 7 and minutes, I started to get the urge to push but I thought that I wanted to poop, my aunt told me to push. I mean my legs were shaking, urging me to push, It's amazing how your body helps you get ready to have a baby and instinct starts kicking in. The nurses told me to stop pushing even though I said I felt like pushing, I really felt like I was going to poop and I was so scared.. They let me go to the bathroom and my mom went with me. Once in the bathroom I started pushing when I felt like I needed to but nothing happened, my mom said it's not poop that wants to get out. At that moment the nurses started knocking really hard on the door and instructed me to stop pushing, again when you are in labor there is no way of you stopping the pushing process once it's time. It was the longest walk walking to the bed and pushing at the same time. They laid me on the bed and checked me, that's when one nurse you are about to have a baby. My legs were closed together and they ran out to get a doctor, but as she ran out she said no pushing. My aunt that was there, said no way start pushing girly there I was with her and husband half holding my legs and me shaking uncontrollably and pushing. When the nurse and doctor came in, somebody had to leave the room. It was my 2 aunts, mom, and husband in the room. My dad, sister and brother were in the waiting rom.
My heart was set on my mom and husband staying with me during delivery but my mom couldn't handle seeing me in pain, and instead one of my aunts and husband stayed.
Now the fun part begins, everything happened in less than 5 minutes, seriously maybe even less.
The doctor comes in, puts on her gloves and at the same time my mom and aunt are leaving the room. The door closes and as the doctor bends down to look, I push and as the doctor puts her hands out to lift the sheet, the baby pops out, or better yet Miguel fly's into the arms of the doctor.
Yes, it was that fast and now the traumatizing and scary part begins. Baby fly's out so fast, that he gives me a severe tear. The horrible burning sensation as he came out was so bad, I felt the tear as his shoulders came out. There were only a few minutes of me holding Miguel close to me and crying because I was holding my first born.
They had to continue working on me, I was losing a lot of blood and the tear was to deep for them to sew like that. An epidural was needed for them to be able to sew the tear, imagine bleeding to death with a vaginal tear and having to sit down as they try to give you an epidural and to my luck I got someone who couldn't find the proper spot in my back to insert the needle, they had to kick my husband out of the room because the tension was felt in the air and as I kept losing blood, they started asking what blood type I was and what blood type my family members were.
It was so hard to be by myself in the room, I was starting to feel very cold and faint, when they finally inserted the needle and gave me the epidural. After that I was played down and they were able to sew up the tear, I was so grateful and blessed to be out of danger. One of my fears has always been to die during birth and it was scary for a little bit.
It felt so weird to not feel from my waist down, and all I wanted to do was hold my baby but I was also so very tired. My family was instructed to follow the baby in every single thing they did to him.
When I finally got to hold Miguel, it was the most amazing feeling ever. I couldn't stop crying and holding him in my arms.
Some will say that it was a traumatizing labor and that they wouldn't do it again, but I would.
And not one single thing would be changed. To me the delivery of my first born will always be special and treasured, I now have my amazing son to prove that every single second was worth this journey into motherhood.
So today as I celebrate the blessing that my first born son is, I also celebrate being a mom :)
Happy Birthday my querido Miguel.
Love,
Kary xoxo
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